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datatime: 2022-09-27 08:40:09 Author:StyrNzyc

At fifty bucks an hour, we can't afford one second of help.

We can go to a hospital.

Sure, it's free all right, but what if they decide we're nuts and lock us up in a state institution for a few years? You in a woman's ward, me in a men's ward?

That doesn't make any sense to me.

That doesn't make any sense to me.

I caught some of Helen's enthusiasm, but for a different reason. The prospect of a good rest, a chance to sleep at night, some proper food in my stomach appealed to me. It was a place to start from . . .

Sure, it's free all right, but what if they decide we're nuts and lock us up in a state institution for a few years? You in a woman's ward, me in a men's ward?

Well, suppose you had died and I hadn't? And I woke up, and there you were-dead, and there I'd be, alone, still alive, without you, without anything. . . Her tears started to flow again, but with better restraint. I held her on my lap like a frightened child; her face against my shoulder. I made no attempts to prevent her silent crying. I just patted her gently on her bare back, letting her cry it out. I knew precisely how she felt, because my feelings were exactly the same. Within a few minutes she was calm again and smiling her secret, tragic smile.

I could too, Harry. There are lots of things we could do together Did you ever get your G.I. loan?

At fifty bucks an hour, we can't afford one second of help.

That isn't the way it works, baby, I told her.A psychiatrist isn't a witch doctor with a speedy cure for driving out the devils. It's a long process, as I understand it, and the patient really cures himself. All the psychiatrist can do is help him along by guiding the thinking a little bit. He listens and says nothing. He doesn't even give the patient any sympathy. All he does is listen.

What did, honey?

We can go to a hospital.

Sure, it's free all right, but what if they decide we're nuts and lock us up in a state institution for a few years? You in a woman's ward, me in a men's ward?

If you'd kept up much longer I'd have joined you, I said, attempting a smile. -

Well . . . She thought for a few moments.They could get us off the liquor couldn't they?

No. She shook her head.We've lost our perspective. What we need is help, psychiatric help.

I caught some of Helen's enthusiasm, but for a different reason. The prospect of a good rest, a chance to sleep at night, some proper food in my stomach appealed to me. It was a place to start from . . .

What did, honey?

I know it's childish of me, Harry, to cry like that, but I couldn't help it. The thought exploded inside my head and caught me when I wasn't expecting it.

That costs even more.

Well, suppose you had died and I hadn't? And I woke up, and there you were-dead, and there I'd be, alone, still alive, without you, without anything. . . Her tears started to flow again, but with better restraint. I held her on my lap like a frightened child; her face against my shoulder. I made no attempts to prevent her silent crying. I just patted her gently on her bare back, letting her cry it out. I knew precisely how she felt, because my feelings were exactly the same. Within a few minutes she was calm again and smiling her secret, tragic smile.

Oh, they wouldn't do that, Harry. We aren't crazy. This wholesale depression we're experiencing is caused strictly by alcohol. If we can get a few drugs and a little conversation from a psychiatrist, we'll be just fine again. I'll bet they wouldn't keep us more than a week at the longest.

I could too, Harry. There are lots of things we could do together Did you ever get your G.I. loan?

If we didn't have any, and couldn't get any, yes. But even there, you have to have a genuine desire to quit drinking.

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